Little England

We hear about it on BBC radio chat shows and we read about it in the press but where exactly is Little England? Does it have anything to do with Middle England? Has its inhabitants ever invaded France or, at the very least sunk any French shipping?

Details are sketchy but piecing together the various clues given to us by the media we can say for sure that its indigenous population are known as Little Englanders and not, surprisingly enough, The Little English. Here is an example of Little Englander usage that I include as a confirming reference (supplied by Peter Briffa in the public interest):

"Put out more St George's flags! England may have lost the football last night, but for Little Englanders it was a night to celebrate". – Polly Toynbee of the Guardian newspaper.

From this single reference and its later context it would be easy to believe that Little England is part of the European continent, that they recently played England at football and that they won, hence their night of celebrations. But, though revealing, this hardly pinpoints Little England’s actual position inside Europe. Anyone can beat England at football. It could be anywhere. Near Italy perhaps or maybe Greece.

All very confusing, but not hopelessly so. You see we do have a reference work available to us which gives us a solid clue as to the provenance of Little England. It comes in the form of a Handbook discovered by one of The England Projects researchers on an intrepid adventure around a car boot sale in Surrey.

That is a picture of Winston Churchill on the front cover. He was the British Prime Minister during the second word war. Could it be that Little England is actually part of Britain, you know, like the Isle of White is? Could it be that Little Englanders are, in fact, Englishmen? If so then why are not all Englishmen also known as Little Englanders? What makes them different? What characteristic or behavioural defect turns an Englishman into a Little Englander?

The Webster dictionary has it and that it has taken us this long to realise it is indicative of the calibre of our researchers.

A little Englander is:

an Englishman opposed to territorial expansion. See Anti-imperialism.

We were right to pick up on the clues on the cover of the Handbook.

A Little Englander is an English anti-imperialist. Someone who is in opposition to imperialism and, as a result, someone who is unlikely to have sunk anyone’s shipping let alone that of the French.

The media are right to bang on about these Little Englanders. They are dangerously delusional people probably of the Extreme Left. Any right thinking person who takes the time to look at the issues properly would soon come to appreciate that British imperialism is the future.

A continent ruled from Westminster, with uniform and just laws administered by the British, united under a single currency – Stirling.

That’s the dream that these Little Englanders want to ruin and I say to the Tower with them! To the Tower with them all!

Posted by John at June 15, 2004 09:22 AM | TrackBack