Don't like the messages of the New Testament?

Don't be downhearted. Grab a pen and change the words:

Authorised version: “John did baptise in the wilderness, and preach the baptism of repentance for the remission of sins.”

New: “John, nicknamed ‘The Dipper’, was ‘The Voice’. He was in the desert, inviting people to be dipped, to show they were determined to change their ways and wanted to be forgiven.”