A minor education

By the way, while on our little trip my little six year old boy was shot in the backside by BB gun wielding kid. My boy came running back to the tent from the playground in tears with a couple of other young lads acting as escort. When he told me what happened the universe split into two and the following scenarios took place:

Universe 1: I called the people at the campsite reception who quickly dispatched an on site medical team to our tent to treat the very small red mark on my boys bum. They also dispatched a small security team to see if they could track down the ‘thug and his weapon’. I also called the police who dispatched a helicopter and two Armed Response Unit vehicles which arrived within 20 minutes. These units refused to enter the campsite for a further two and a half hours because they could not be sure of the situation ‘inside the gates’ but they did prevent movement into and out of the site, helping to secure the safety of the local surrounding community from ‘the lone gunman’. The press turned up and did a sympathetic interview with me and my family and took a couple of pictures of my boy holding up a BB towards the camera lens. The next day the story broke in the local papers – ‘CAMPSITE MAYHEM AS SHOOTER BLASTS TODDLER IN PLAYGROUND’. The paper later started up an anti-gun campaign calling for the licensing of all toy guns, BB guns, airguns and shotguns. The ‘crazed gun fanatic’ is never caught.

Universe 2: Within 5 seconds of being told the story I run full pelt from the tent and into the playground where I find the culprit just as he has clearly decided that now would be a good time to run off. I catch him and give him a good old fashioned telling off. I take his gun off him and quiz him about his knowledge of the law concerning such things. He has no idea that he is committing an offence just by having one on him in a public place without good reason. I continue, with some zeal, until he is visibly shaking mainly due to my comprehensive verbal ranting skills. I send him on his way and he never returns to the playground for the rest of the holiday. A number of young impressionable and attentive children in the playground who are within earshot learn an important lesson about BB guns, the law and angry grown up members of the public.

Fancy taking a guess which universe this version of me was in?