Drinking and the English

Of course, it is no big secret that the people of this great nation of ours enjoy a drink or two. What is a big secret is our actual behaviour after a good session down the local.

Overseas the myth seems to have spread that drunken Englishmen are violent and loud whereas the truth is that most drunken Englishmen actually seek comedic excellence. It's one of the reasons our producers, directors, actors etc are famous for the genre. Practice.

Look, here's an example if you don't believe me:

We tumble into the front garden and up to the large bay window. We are extremely quiet as only drunk people can be, with lots of whispering, giggling and hisses of 'sshhh!!!' There is no gap in the curtains, but a noise from within suggests that our plan has been rumbled.

"Quick!" cries Short Tony. "Into the bushes!"

We leap into the bushes.