Their own twelfth of August

On the 25th December this year a little star will appear in the Martian skies.

Beagle 2 will enter the atmosphere and descend, hanging from its parachutes, until it deploys its air bags and lands at 02:54 GMT. It will then land again, and again, and again until the bouncing stops. That’s the plan anyway.

According to this timeline we will then have to wait until 05:15 GMT at the earliest before receiving any signal from the lander.

The 25th December 2003, Christmas Day, will be the Martian 12th August. The day we brought the war to the Martians. The day we took them on at their own game. They do deserve it after all.

Here’s what a 19th century journalist recalls of our first encounter with the Martian menace:

At midnight on the twelfth of August, a huge mass of luminous gas erupted from Mars and sped towards Earth. Across two hundred million miles of void, invisibly hurtling towards us, came the first of the missiles that were to bring so much calamity to Earth. As I watched, there was another jet of gas. It was another missile, starting on its way.

And that's how it was for the next the next ten nights. A flare, spurting out from Mars - bright green, drawing a green mist behind it - a beautiful, but somehow disturbing sight. Ogilvy, the astronomer, assured me we were in no danger. He was convinced there could be no living thing on that remote, forbidding planet.

It’s not surprising that men of the time took Ogilvy at his word; he was a man of science after all. How wrong Ogilvy was proven to be.

Then came the night the first missile approached Earth. It was thought to be an ordinary falling star, but the next day there was a huge crater in the middle of the Common, and Ogilvy came to examine what lay there: a cylinder, thirty yards across, glowing hot...and with faint sounds of movement coming from with.

Suddenly the top began moving, rotating, unscrewing…

I have a great admiration for the journalist. By all accounts he had a dreadful time of it and was, as far as I can tell, one of the only reporters able to report on the events from the front line. He was there to see the first Martian lander on Horsell common and he was there to report on the first time the heat ray was deployed.

Here’s how he reports the events of his encounter with the artillery man, discovering for the first time that the Martians were mobile and able to leave their landers:

The hammering from the pit and the pounding of guns grew louder. My fear rose at the sound of someone creeping into the house. Then I saw it was a young artilleryman, weary, streaked with blood and dirt.

Artilleryman: Anyone here?
Journalist: Come in. Here, drink this.
Artilleryman: Thank you.
Journalist: What's happened?
Artilleryman: They wiped us out. Hundreds dead, maybe thousands.
Journalist: The heat ray?
Artilleryman: The Martians. They were inside the hoods of machines they'd made, massive metal things on legs. Giant machines that walked. They attacked us. They wiped us out.
Journalist: Machines?
Artilleryman: Fighting machines, picking up men and bashing them against trees. Just hunks of metal, but they knew exactly what they were doing.
Journalist: Hmm. There was another cylinder came last night.
Artilleryman: Yes. Yes, it looked bound for London.

Most of you would have read about this encounter at school, many would have seen it inscribed an the memorial in Trafalgar Square, some of you will have recited the words during school assembly countless times. The Artilleryman’s Litany was always taught at school when I was a lad, far more so than it is now. They wiped us out. Hundreds dead, maybe thousands. It still makes me shiver.

A short time after this report the Martians sent the HMS Thunderchild to oblivion. They destroyed the pride of the British Navy in an instant and took London for their own. The Martians made the Norman conquest look like a tea party.

It's a matter of some argument but it looks like we only managed to destroy two Martian fighting machines during the whole invasion and if it were not for a very lucky turn of events mankind would have been consigned to history; a history no doubt written by the Martians.

Anyhow, now it’s our turn to dish out the destruction. To beat the Martians at their own game.

Beagle 2 is the first of three landers on their way to Mars each one carrying a biological payload engineered to thrive on the Martian surface. When this payload is released the Martians will reap the whirlwind. They will discover the cost of what they have done and pay the price in full.

Good luck Beagle 2, make us proud.

To learn more go and read the post by Michael Jennings over at samizdata.net.

How to be lucky

Here's an interesting article on luck by professor Richard Wiseman in which he discusses an experiment that he conducted into why some people are consistently lucky whereas others are not. He identifies certain characteristics of lucky people and provides the following 4 point plan to increase your own luck:

Listen to your gut instincts - they are normally right

Be open to new experiences and breaking your normal routine

Spend a few moments each day remembering things that went well

Visualise yourself being lucky before an important meeting or telephone call. Luck is very often a self-fulfilling prophecy

My current gut instincts are to not change a thing and to stick to my normal routine. I'm not sure what that means.

Right a bit, right a bit.

The Adam Smith Institute on why the blogosphere leans right. It's because blogs are the ideal medium for views that require more detailed explanations, says the ASI. I'm not sure I agree because the left are just as capable of having and expressing complex ideas. However, as a general tool blogs are perfect for presenting facts and figures, trends and analysis, and sustained argument requiring methodically archived output.

I think that the more accurate part of the ASI posting is saved for the end:

Perhaps this lack of understanding is because relatively few on the left have converted to the left. Conversely, many on the right were brought up with left-leaning ideas, ingrained from their teachers and parents, and then during their teenage or university years worked out that they were wrong. An inherited view is just believed: a view you are won over to has to have an intellectual foundation.

This, to me, seems plausible especially because it fits in with my observations. I have friends who started off left and remained so and friends who started off left and moved right but I don't have any that started of right and moved to the left.

Hampton Court Palace

...is haunted. Oooooooooooo.

Sport for some

In your country sport is popular. You take pride, as a citizen, of your countries record at world sporting events. You may not follow football, for instance, but nevertheless you are deeply disappointed when your country looses in a European football match against the Germans in a penalty shootout. Then, years later, you scream like an idiot when your country beats Germany 5-1 at the same game. Your team routed Germany in a game you hardly follow and you want to go out and buy the DVD just so you can see it again.

You may not follow rugby, but when your country beats all comers to win a world title you’re ecstatic. Never mind that you’ve never watch the game. This is your country and you’ve beaten the best of the best. How great is that?

You may not follow curling, but when your curling team wins an Olympic gold medal for your country you are filled with pride. You may not know how or why someone would get into a sport like that but you’re sure glad that some of your fellow citizens did. God bless them. What a damn fine moment that was when you watched that gentle push, all that crazy sweeping, and that glorious sound as the oppositions whatchamacallits were knocked out of the way, leaving your country victorious.

You may not follow shooting, but each and every time your Olympic and Commonwealth medal tally is increased by your countries shooting team you’re thankful and proud. You’re thankful and proud that once again your country has brought home the goods, saved from a worse Olympic ranking because of a sport that you know little about. And you know that this sport brings home the medals time and time again.

In your country you have an organisation called Sport England. This organisation decides to draw up a list of ten sports scheduled for prioritised investment and shooting is not one of them. Given its medal tally you wonder why.

the ten priority sports are those in which “the nation wishes to see us do well”.

Interesting, you don’t recall being asked your opinion. You begin to wonder if this is just another one of those ‘it’s what the public wants’ moments. The one’s you’ve had all your life. The ones where the ‘public’ somehow make their desires know using some mechanism that you are neither aware of or involved in. You realise that You’re not the only one wondering.

John Leighton-Dyson, World Class Performance director for the Great Britain Target Shooting Federation, said: “We satisfy all the criteria set out by both bodies and are meeting our performance targets. For Athens, we have earned more Olympic quota places than ever before. We are a sport for young and old, men and women. There are many shooters with disabilities, for whom shooting is their only sporting activity.”

You wonder what Sport England have to say about that.

“We do not consider the sport contributes substantially to our overall objectives.”

You wonder how a sport that England beats all-comers at does not contribute substantially to Sport England’s objectives.

At that point you decide that their objectives have nothing to do with the sporting prowess of your country. You begin to wonder if, in actual fact, they are hopeless.

SPORT ENGLAND
Sport for Some

The Euro gravy boat

...keeps on sailing upon its mirror smooth sea of cash. Levels are rising this year due to an alarming increase in the amount of cash leaking from the pockets of EU member country citizens.

Euro-MPs awarded themselves a 30 per cent pay rise yesterday with no loss of their office perks.

Pay for British MEPs is to jump from £55,000 to £72,000 overnight, severing the link with their Westminster colleagues for the first time.

For the first time in history both environmentalists and oil company executives agree on the cause of rising levels, laying the blame firmly at the feet of big government.

"It's no good", said one oil company executive, "the levels are rising and there's nothing I can do. I mean it's not as if I even know who the buggers are, let alone how I might make them accountable."

Stinky, a local environmentalist, remarked "What do these bastards do anyway?"

Hitchens on teens

Peter Hitchens thinks that giving votes to 16 year olds is an attempt by the current government to rig the polls.

Giving votes to 16-year-olds is just another part of Labour's plan to turn this country into a permanent one-party state.
...
[D]oes anyone believe that most of them [16 year olds] have a clue about politics?

Modern society tends to patronise 'the young', who are said to be 'idealists' and ' openminded'. This is tripe.

Most teenagers are frightening conformists, slaves to fashions in clothes, music and ideas and terrified of standing out from any crowd.

Whatever I may think about allowing 16 year olds to vote (and currently I'm of the opinion that it is a bad idea) I can't agree with Hitchens sentiments regarding the conformist character of teens. Far from not wanting to stand out from the crowd I think the opposite may actually be true. Getting noticed is, I suspect, very high on a 16 year olds agenda and I think it is this desire that helps to fuel currently popular pass times such as celebrity worship. Programmes popular with teens, such as Pop Idol, Fame Academy etc are partly manifestations of their desire to stand out, to be special in some way and to be recognised for it.

Hitchens does teens down here. He may be right about their political awareness and their natural alignment with Labour 'thinking' but he is not right to call them frightening conformists.

A new kind of tree hugger

This makes me want to go and hug a tree.

The Danish Ministry of Science, Technology and Innovation has today repudiated findings by the Danish Committees on Scientific Dishonesty (DSCD) that Bjørn Lomborg’s book “The Skeptical Environmentalist” was “objectively dishonest” or “clearly contrary to the standards of good scientific practice.”

"Yes tree, it's true, you are much better than they said you were."
"No, those other people seem to have made it up."
"There there, don't worry, there's a new kind of tree hugger in town and they know science!"

Howard attacks cost of government

The leader of the conservative party, Michael Howard, has attacked Blair on the costs of central govenment to the tax paying public:

Since Labour came to power in 1997, the costs of administering central government had risen by £7bn.

That, dear readers, is a seven with far too many zeros after it and that's just the increase. Shocking.

Some things just need propagating (again)

Psssst, pass it on.

Bully boy disgrace

You know, pleased as I was when Spain and Poland stood up for themselves at the EU constitution summit I couldn't help thinking that trouble would head their way as a consequence. France and Germany would not let them get away with it. What I did not expect is that Britain, in the guise of Tony Blair, would be party to the inevitable playground bullying.

Melanie Phillips, in her not so secret Diary, is a witnesses:

Revenge is already being exacted against Poland and Spain for blocking agreement last weekend as Britain joins France and Germany in demanding budget cuts that will, by an amazing coincidence, penalise Poland and Spain.

There are few things more exquisite than watching bully boys getting what's coming to them and, make no mistake, Blair is one of them.

As Robert Louis Stevenson once said:

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.

And when Blair finally gets to sit at his own particular banquet table I will rejoice.

It's not what you said, it's the way you said it

One difference between people who suffer and people who watch suffering on TV was highlighted in Paul Bremer's press conference on Sunday. When Bremer stood at that podium and said “We got him!” Iraqi’s at the conference started cheering, shouted “Death to Saddam” and wept. The TV watching intelligentsia criticised Bremer’s phraseology.

Think Different

Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify, or vilify them. But the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

Ozzy off ventilator

Good news.

Ozzy is a great performer with a massive stage presence. I’ve seen him hold some of the most unruly crowds in the palm of his hand. The ticket above is the one I saved from the last concert I saw him at. No year on it, which is a shame because I can't remember it myself. Back in the 1980's I think.

As for his recent American TV show, the one thing you can say for it is that it does provide the odd humorous insight. For instance when he was at a pre-show sound check or what have you and noticed that the engineers had fit a bubble making machine to the set. As the bubbles were tested the look on Ozzy’s face was a marvel. He opened his mouth and said something along the lines of:

What? What are those? Bubbles! I’m supposed to be the prince of f***ing darkness!!

Brilliant.

Game hunting under EU threat

Here's another reason for avoiding closer assimilation into the EU.

Traditional dishes of freshly shot game are under threat from European rules that could restrict the hunting and shooting of wild animals, it was claimed yesterday.

Apparently the proposals, which will be considered in February, demand that wild game be certified as fit and healthy by a trained person before being shot.

Another 'expendable' minority interest on the table and another example showing why this EU menace must be opposed.

The manly sports of England
Shall vanish one by one;
The manly blood of England
In weaker veins shall run.

Pack of prejudice

Hehe. The Countryside Alliance have produced their own deck of most wanted cards:

Ann Widdecombe, Conservative MP for the Kent constituency of Maidstone and the Weald, is pictured in the so-called Pack of Prejudice as the Queen of Clubs.

The list - a parody of the cards issued to troops by the US government in Iraq - also includes Liberal Democrat leader Charles Kennedy as the Jack of Hearts.

Minister of State for Rural Affairs Alun Michael has a Joker card, while Labour backbencher and former actress Glenda Jackson is the Queen of Hearts.

They must have had a good old giggle when deciding who should appear on what cards. Alun Michael as the joker works well.

The tramp's the star

I was away from the TV for most of the weekend except for an hour or so down the pub. I was out of earshot so couldn’t hear what was being said which was a little frustrating because they kept showing pictures of some old tramp being examined by a doctor. What was that all about?

EU constitution summit ends in 'failure'

We have the Polish and the Spanish to thank for this:

The talks were deadlocked by Poland and Spain's refusal to surrender voting rights secured at a summit in Nice three years ago.

Good for them, working in their national interests and what have you. Naturally, for doing so they have been criticized by Germany and France who are very protective of their pet project.

By the way, when I first went to the story page on the BBC web site it ended with a little report about how a car ran through roadblocks outside the summit after committing some crime (robbery I think). Police opened fire on the car and later made arrests at a hospital where one man was being treated for gunshot wounds. This bit was removed from the summit story, I know not why.

Embarrassed man confused by patriotism

Over at The Daily Ablution our host, Scott Burgess, writes:

In today's Evening Standard (unavailable online), columnist Tim Lott addresses English patriotism. He hates it.

Tim does admit that he loves his country, but adds that as someone "broadly on the Left wing of politics," he's "slightly embarrassed by the fact."

Later we are told that this Mr. Lott sums up his views on patriotism thusly:

"an oversensitive, belligerent, intolerant fanaticism about the virtues of one's own culture."

Mr. Lott should be more embarrassed by his views of patriotism than by the fact that he loves his country.

Statue for Trafalgar Square

As I pointed out here the empty plinth in Trafalgar Square is soon to be filled with a piece of contemporary art. I know I'm too late to enter the competition and I know this is not contemporary but here is my suggestion anyway. It commemorates the merchant sailors who risked and lost their lives bringing food and supplies to Britain and her allies during the Great war and the second world war and is, in my opinion, far more appropriate:

Much better than an old motor covered in bird droppings.

The future of the BBC

Tessa Jowell wants us to decide the future of the BBC.

A consultation leaflet published by the culture department today called Your BBC, Your Say asks members of the public whether they think the licence fee is the best way of paying for the BBC and, if not, for suggestions of alternative ways of funding the corporation - a potentially explosive question.

Privatise it and let the new owners decide how to fund it. There, that’ll be £50,000 for the consultancy please and if you even think about not paying I’ll send the vans round. They can detect non-payment with that whirly radar thingy you know.

I love this bit

Ms Jowell said that for the first time the future of the BBC would be decided by the "British people", rather than the "great and the good".

Because the "great unwashed" are neither?

Countryside alliance campaign for shooting

This from their grass roots mailing system:

STRENGTHEN THE CAMPAIGNING VOICE OF SHOOTING

To protect and promote our sport the shooting community must increase the size and strength of its campaigning 'voice' as the pressure on all forms of shooting increases. 'Mainstream' organisations like the RSPCA are actively targeting shooting and the reality is that unless everyone who shoots engages in its promotion and defence the sport could all but disappear.

Unlike the hunting community, shooting itself does not yet have the organised campaigning structure, which could give these efforts, and those of all pro-shooting bodies, far greater political clout.

To do this we need to know where you are and who you are - not only you, but your friends, guests, syndicate members, tenants, beaters and pickers-up.

Please go to www.foresight-cfs.org.uk/pdf/datasheet.pdf where you can download forms to take on shoots to be filled in by all those who care about a future for shooting.

This just in from the coast

Group Captain Lionel Mandrake, VC, AFC, CBE, BSc, MOT, VD Scab and Bar, RAF (Retd.) is missing in action. Unsubstantiated reports have placed him in a public house some distance from the front. We trust in God that this is the case.

Early reports on his location were wrong. He was at his mum's house.

Of Guinness and ale

I chose my pubs very carefully in my late teens and early twenties. I liked them quite dark, not too busy and quite simply decorated. A good open fire for the winter months was a must as, of course, was a friendly clientele. Then there was the beer.

My two favourite drinks were brown and bitter and Guinness. Brown and bitter is a mix of one half pint of brown ale and one half pint of bitter, but I was very particular about the types of beer used. It absolutely had to be Mann’s brown ale and it had to be mixed with a good bitter of medium thickness and flavour (London Pride was a good one). That was a fine pint. Hard to find then and even harder to find now. Indeed, I can’t remember the last time I saw a bottle of Mann’s brown.

Guinness, on the other hand, is in plentiful supply and I have to admit of a better overall consistency now than it was when I was younger. I used to switch pubs on the basis of who had the best kept barrel on at any particular moment because, for some reason, landlords found it hard to keep well. Now it seems that almost every local round these parts does a good pint so I suspect that the storage technology has changed or some such.

Anyone else notice this improvement over the last ten or fifteen years or so?

Simply dreadful

They are looking for a new piece to display on a plinth in Trafalgar square. Go here to see some of the dreadful designs currently on offer.

Thankfully this will be a rolling programme so we won't be stuck with the item for good. However, being the miserably pessimistic realist that I am I suspect we are in for a series of national embarrassments.

Agincourt II

It seems that I am not the only person left unconvinced by the argued merits of wind farms:

A British businessman intends leading 5,000 archers to a second battle of Agincourt in an attempt to defeat plans for a wind farm at the historic site in France.

The repair robots are beginning to break down

Natalie Solent feels it too. Adding to the concerns I raised in my policeman and the sportsman post and to David Carr's constitution post, Natalie remarks:

In a quiet way it's beginning to be a little bit frightening the way minor miscarriages of justice don't seem to get fixed nowadays.

Zero-tolerance cases in school, the sacking of prison officers for insulting terrorist leaders, the Metric Martyrs are some of the examples she uses.

I realise this is very vague. I realise that much worse things happen and have always happened than any of the cases I mention. (And I realise that I haven't put in any links. Sorry, no time.) Yet I do sometimes think that there our society's repair robots, the ones that say "hey, you can't do that," are beginning to break down.

So, it seems, that if I am imagining the whole thing at least I am in good company. Natalie, on the other hand, is a little less fortunate.

Mugabe's honorary knighthood

It's news to me but apparently Robert Mugabe has an honorary knighthood. It was given to him for his contribution to relations with Britain in 1994 (whatever they were).

Well, it looks like it might be taken away from him:

Mr Blair was asked by Andrew Robathan, Conservative MP for Blaby, whether he would recommend withdrawing the knighthood awarded to Mr Mugabe on his last state visit to Britain.

Ministers have previously brushed aside the question of the knighthood which was raised earlier by the Foreign Affairs Select Committee.

Mr Blair said: “We will certainly look at the issue of the honorary knighthood, although I somehow question what the impact of that might be on him.”

I think Blair misses the point entirely if he thinks that influencing Mugabe is the reason for the withdrawal. It's necessary to withdraw the honorary knighthood to protect the integrity of the title.

British Bulldog

Adjusted from an image found over at Sterling Times.

Who will rebuild Iraq?

The USA, Iraq, coalition partners and other force contributing nations will rebuild Iraq according to US Deputy Defence Secretary Paul Wolfowitz. Those who will not be allowed to bid for rebuilding contracts are companies from countries opposed to the conflict that deposed Saddam Hussein.

It's thought that the move is likely to anger France and Germany but they always seem to be angry with the US so I don't suppose it makes much difference.

Let's face it, success in Iraq for the coalition will anger them; failure in Iraq will anger them; failure of the EU project to 'balance imperialistic US power' will anger them; failure of the EU army to compete with NATO will anger them; any failure of Britain to ratify the EU constitution will anger them; Israeli fences that keep out terrorists anger them; new world wine angers them........

Plain English enough for you?

Mark Steyn thinks that the people behind Plain English Campaign sound like a bunch of smug tossers.

They do indeed. However, has it crossed anyone’s mind that the Plain English Campaign might have really thought Rumsfeld's "known unknowns" was a real foot in mouth incident? No malice, just a complete inability to understand Rumsfeld's simple words.

Not smug tossers, just stupid.

How much taxation can you stand?

Voting for a Labour government is expensive:

LONDON (Reuters) - Chancellor Gordon Brown will unveil his pre-budget report on Wednesday against a backdrop of surging spending and sluggish tax receipts which threaten to bust his own much-vaunted fiscal rules.

And it doesn't get any cheaper:

Economists are divided. Some think Brown will continue to meet his rule while others think he will break it but not for a few years which means that any further politically damaging tax rises can be avoided before the next election, likely in 2005.

Don't vote for them again. The country can't afford it. You can't afford it. I can't afford it.

The Cuthbertson Ten

Peter Cuthbertson is running a countdown of the 10 worst British leftists of 2003. See five of them here. Be warned that some viewers may experience a slight burning sensation to the eyes.

Hitchens nearly defines the other, More Evil England Project

Peter Hitchens thinks that Blair and New Labour are the most left-wing thing to hit the streets of Britain since Oliver Cromwell went Roman on bunch of royalists. Blair is not a Tory in spite of what the golfing Nigels and the glum Kevins might think, comments Hitchens. Blair has not saved us from socialism. Indeed, Blair could walk out right now and leave the whole thing to Brown with little effect:

The anti-English bias, the tyranny of political correctness, the semi-Marxist assault on the constitution, the project to tax the middle class out of existence, the unstoppable creation of non-jobs for Labour supporters in the public sector, the frenzied egalitarianism and promotion of dependency on the State - all will continue as before.

That paragraph very nearly defines the other, More Evil England Project. All it needs is a liberal sprinkling of European Integration and it would be perfect.

Zimbabwe will return

Well, as we all suspected, the Zimbabwean opposition party says that when it comes to power it will restore the country's membership of the Commonwealth. The Movement for Democratic Change said that Mugabe's decision to leave the Commonwealth was:

clearly not in the interest of Zimbabwe and its people but is an attempt to avoid returning the country to democratic principles".

We congratulate the Commonwealth for standing firmly on the side of the people of Zimbabwe and strongly urge the rest of the international community not to be bullied into turning a blind eye to dictatorship, genocide, murder and torture under the guise of sovereignty. The decision by the Commonwealth (to suspend Zimbabwe's membership) confirms Mugabe's illegitimacy."

Not that it needed much in the way of confirmation.

The policeman and the sportsman

For not upon these hills alone
The doom of sport shall fall;
O'er the broad face of England creeps
The shadow on the wall.

I’ve been watching an online debate the past few days about freedom in the UK. A sportsman, who has had his liberty to pursue his sport removed by the state, was accused by a police officer of having a very different idea of freedom than his own. Effectively the sportsman said that the states destruction of his sport was singing from the same song sheet as other forms of oppression and was just another symptom of decline of freedom in the UK.

The officer would not concede the point. My view on freedom lies a long way from your own he said. I could almost see the superior disregarding wave of the hand.

He stated that the loss of the sport is not a symptom of a more general decline in freedom. A decline in freedom is instead categorised by things such as the prevention of public demonstrations or by the incarceration of people for their personal beliefs. These are the characteristics of a decline of freedom. The imposition of legislation that destroyed the pastime of a minority is not.

What struck me about this exchange is the officer’s notion of freedom and also his inaccuracy. It’s clear that he only considers the major freedoms as defining factors in the overall freedom of a country and in the direction that the country is heading. Little incidentals are not of concern and if those little incidentals affect only an unpopular minority then so much the better. Such things can be safely discounted.

He is tragically wrong.

That is exactly how freedom is lost, over time and in small steps. And when the slide beings it is the unpopular minorities that are the first to feel its effects. I would say that such things are not only on the same song sheet as the officer’s larger freedoms but actually characterise the opening verses. Without them there would be no song.

Then we come to the officers big freedoms and even with these we can see the cracks. For instance we have the man in Exeter arrested for telling someone off for celebrating the terrorist attacks in New York in 2001. We have the sacking of a prison officer for making an allegedly insulting remark about Osama bin Laden. We have the arrest of Robin Page for urging that the rural minority be given the same legal protection as other minorities. We have a recent police investigation of the Bishop of Chester for his sermon about homosexuality. We have the alleged use of the anti-terrorism act to impede demonstrators at a recent arms show. I am sure that if I browsed a few British blogs I could come up with many more signs; indications of the path we are now on.

Then we see another characteristic of the decent. An increase in legislation and power afforded to the state without essential controls to ensure the liberty of the citizen. We see a change in the machinery in favour of government and slowly the whole idea of a government that is there for the people flips into one of a government that is there primarily for itself.

When people like Lord Woolf call for new constitution on this very basis we begin to see how far we have decended and how dangerous things have become:

A written constitution may be needed to protect judges and citizens from the Government's "disturbing" legal changes, according to Lord Woolf, the Lord Chief Justice.

Woolf thinks things are getting so bad that us British now need additional constitutional protection. Protection from whom? Not from an enemy that threatens our shorelines but from our own government.

And then of course we come to the principal agency for enforcing current and future government restrictions and oppression, the UK Police Force. Perhaps now we come to the reason why the officer and the sportsman differ in their idea of freedom and differ in the degree to which they think this country has descended.

One is in a privileged position, afforded a level of power over his fellow citizen by the state. One is not.

David Carr, over at samizdata.net writes on this very subject concluding:

So what then must we do? To be honest, I cannot point to any specific remedy. But I do think it would be a good start if we could simply get the message to enough of our fellow citizens that the traditional Anglo-Saxon common law freedoms they take for granted are in mortal danger and that they are sleepwalking into a state of despotism.

Looks like fun to me

I'm certainly up for a bit of this.

Miserable Failure

Ahhh, that feels good.

They won't fall for it

It seems that there are plans to celebrate the 200th anniversary of the battle of Trafalgar some time in 2005. It was at Trafalgar that Lord Nelson led the Navy to their famous victory against the French and Spanish fleets.

The Daily telegraph claims that:

The First Sea Lord, Admiral Sir Alan West, wants to bring together warships from around the world, including French and Spanish vessels, for what would be the centrepiece of the bi-centenary celebrations

That, quite frankly, sounds like a trap to me. You know, get them all packed tightly into one small area within range of the English guns. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for it. I just don't think the French and the Spanish will fall for it. It's too obvious.

Anyhow, the Spanish are the good guys now.

Come in here dear boy

Things like this make me want to go out and buy a cigar.

Smoking should be completely banned in the UK, according to a top medical journal.

One day cannabis and tobacco will pass each other on the legality scale. When that happens we will be able to sit with the lunatics who have taken over the asylum and share a spliff whilst giggling to each other about how ludicrous things have become.

Obviously, with tobacco being banned, we would have to find some other suitable combustible with which to fabricate the spliff. That's what I'm told anyway.

Visit Lileks bleat today for a remarkably smooth tasting coincidence. Link out of date tomorrow, which might be today depending upon when you are reading this.

In fact I declare today National Smoke a Cigar Day!!

(Who do you think you are? - Ed).
(Shut up and spark me up).

SS Great Britain

The SS Great Britain was the worlds first Iron hulled screw propeller driven ship. Designed by Isambard Kingdom Brunel she was launched in 1843 and was the largest ship of her day.

She spent time as a Trans-Atlantic passenger liner, an emigrant clipper, a troop ship, a windjammer, and a coal hulk.

Then in 1970, after spending some time as a floating woolshed off the Falkland Islands, she was towed back to Bristol and now, in the year 2003 the first phase of work to repair and refit her has been completed.

A Victorian-themed banquet was held on board the ship on Wednesday to unveil the results of the restoration project.

The First Class Dining Saloon has been restored to its former glory and the ship's stern has been fitted with gold leaf.

The SS Great Britain is one of a number of ships from these shores that made up a fascinating part of my history lessons at school. Others were the HMS Warrior, the HMS Victory and the Cutty Sark. Those were the days when ships were ships and men were men.

I don't know what women were, we were never told.

Upset Mugabe to miss party. Bleats.

The leaders of the Commonwealth are going to meet tomorrow and it looks like Mugabe is pissed that he has not been invited. It also looks like all that power he has at his disposal (who's arrested and who isn't, who eats and who doesn't) has warped his mind so much that he thinks he's being haunted by a white alliance that's out to get Zimbabwe.

Asked whether, as Mugabe claimed, there was a white alliance out to get at Zimbabwe, he [Don McKinnon] told reporters: "I do reject that.

"I've talked to just about every Commonwealth leader more than once over the past six months. There's variety of views over how to deal with Mugabe, there's by no means a split between Africa and the rest of the world."

I bet that there are a variety of views and I bet they are mostly views on how to get rid of the man.

Parliament and stand up comedy

I was discussing Mr. Howard’s performance at Prime minister's question time yesterday with my good Lady. Instead of taking the matter seriously she giggled and said I quite like Michael Howard. What she found so funny about this exchange is anyone's guess:

"How many people in the 'big conversation' have told the prime minister they want top-up fees?" he wonders.

"Many," says Mr Blair, a little weakly.

The Tory leader ups the sarcasm: "Let me remind the prime minister - I'm here to ask questions on behalf of the country. He's here to answer them."

Will the government do a u-turn if the majority of people oppose tuition fees, he asks.

Mr Blair's answer only provokes further sarcasm: "This grammar school boy is not going to take lessons from that public school boy on under-privilged access!" bellows Mr Howard.

Mr Blair still won't answer whether, having "listened", he may scrap top-up fees.

"We've had three questions asked, none of them answered. Let's try again," says Mr Howard. Will he give a referendum on the EU constitution if the people want one?

Mr Blair chooses to answer the previous question, on hospitals, which provokes Tory jeers.

"It doesn't bode well for the 'big conversation' if, in this 'little conversation', he won't answer any questions," jokes Mr Howard.

Oh! I see it now. Hehehehe.

ConfigSys.boy

.....is back after an extended leave of absence.

Well, blow me down with a feather

This from the Guardian on the The Plain English Campaign and its Foot in Mouth award to Donald Rumsfeld for using simple words to express something quite complex. Rumsfeld was given the award for saying:

Reports that say something hasn't happened are always interesting to me because, as we know, there are known knowns, there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say, we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns - the ones we don't know we don't know.

and the Guardian quite rightly responds with:

This is indeed a complex, almost Kantian, thought. It needs a little concentration to follow it. Yet it is anything but foolish. It is also perfectly clear. It is expressed in admirably plain English, with not a word of jargon or gobbledygook in it.

And not that far behind the blogosphere either.

Now everyone's revolting

We know that the countryside has been revolting for quite some time. Then, earlier last month, we saw how the peasants were revolting. Then came indications that members of the government were contemplating a revolt of their own. Now it seems that the Lords have decided to revolt.

Three Guardian readers and a dog in Blackpool stand together in their defiant support of Tony Blair's government; and the dog is beginning to turn.

We have a bonfire every day

The Bonfire of the Vanities is up over at Wizbang. You could go there, or you could stay here where each post has a built in Bonfire all of its own. It's your choice.

One day there will be no nations and no flags

I'm shocked. Shocked I tell you. Elsie Owusu is threatening to return her OBE:

Unless I am persuaded that my OBE is a symbol of hope for young black women, I shall shortly be returning it.

She fails to leave a number though, so what are we to do? What has brought this woman to such a level of despair?

Well, two things

One is the jingoistic reaction in the press regarding the English (not British) rugby victory. The idea of a vainglorious parade is exclusive of the whole ethnic-minority population of this island and redolent of Anglo-Saxon imperialism. This rugby jolly has already cost £I0m that should have been spent on relieving poverty for the black urban underclass, or perhaps funding sports facilities for those impoverished nations forced to compete on such unfair terms. Sports such as rugby must be privately funded by the wealthy few.

Vainglorious? Redolent? Where does one learn to use such language? More to the point, how is the notion of a parade exclusive of the whole ethnic-minority of the population?

Speaking non-logistically, surely it's only exclusive of people who did not want England to win the World Cup?

Further to Elsie Owusu's troubles:

Second, I echo the sentiments of Benjamin Zepha niah, on declining an OBE, regarding the empire, a symbol of England's brutal past.

I thought the OBE was a symbol of the recipients achievements. Anyhow, the brutal past of the British Empire you seem to hate so was no less brutal when you accepted the OBE in the first place. You've changed. Or England winning the rugby has tipped you over the edge.

Either way I would agree that now is the time for you to send it back just in case you cheapen it further.

The letter is a hoax and the real Owusu is not amused. Who can blame her?

When Santa came to visit

Last night, as my good Lady was reading a bed time story to the boy, Santa came to visit. He was riding on the back of a white van which sported a PA system of some wattage.

As he pulled up outside our house one of his helpers, I suppose a little elf, rang on the doorbell. I answered as the boy and my good Lady rushed down the stairs to see who was playing loud Christmas music and gunning their engine at this time of the night.

I put some sterling into the elf's charity box and as my boy stood at the door in his jimjams, open mouthed and bare foot, Santa called across from his old British Leyland sleigh.

And what is it that you want for Chrismas young man?

A light sabre, the boy replied.

A light sabre.

And so the circle is complete. First the father, now the son. On the 25th of December the training begins.

Dredd hails anti-social crackdown

Measures to tackle anti-social behaviour will "make a considerable difference to people in Mega City One", Judge Dredd says. Dredd, giving his monthly press conference, said the changes will start coming into force in February. Not only will people see more Judges on the streets, but Judges will have the power to issue on the spot penalties and to close down nuisance city blocks, he said.
"When these changes on anti-social behaviour come in next year, they will be a very, very big thing indeed."

Another disgrace

Another old woman beaten half to death by a wicked thug who knew very well that there was little his victim could do to defend herself. A terrible crime and one that Detective Inspector Frank Robbie of Greater Manchester Police can't understand:

I cannot understand how someone could have punched this frail and defenceless woman and then just left her lying on the floor while they stole money from her.

Of course not. But then there is nothing to understand, there is just acceptance. Acceptance of the fact that there are wicked, nasty, evil people in the world who will do anything that they can to satisfy their own selfish desires. The Mrs Jackson's of this world are not frail old ladies that deserve respect and consideration, they are obstacles to be overcome in the pursuit of another’s booty.

The detective, true to form, remarks as follows on the one armed Mrs Jackson's disability:

She lost her left arm in a works accident many years ago so there would have been no way in which she could have defended herself.

No, not in this England. But there is a tool out there that frail old ladies can use, one arm or two, to defend themselves from the human dross that hunts them.

Unfortunately the powerful men and women of this country do not think that frail and infirm people like Mrs. Jackson should be permitted to keep one in their homes for situations exactly like the one she found herself in last Friday afternoon. Alone, unarmed and terrified.

It was the Dawn of the Third Age of Mankind

I'm a big Babylon 5 fan. Yes, yes, I know, another Sci-Fi freak but let me tell you that there are more of us than you think so I would keep those thoughts to yourself my friend before I have you disintegrated.

Anyhow, I know it's subjective but B5 was one of those series that had such a great combination of things going for it that it could not fail to impress me. Good effects, great acting (the Londo character was truly astonishing and a marvel to watch), brilliant writing and a constant theme running through it (the coming of the shadows, a race of nasty super spidery things).

The thing that impressed me the most about the writing and acting was the dialog and the way it was delivered; this bit from the Chrysalis episode for instance had me in fits:

Londo: "Now out of that 50, how many gods do you think I must have offended to have ended up with G'Kar's teeth buried so deeply in my throat that I can barely breathe?"
Vir: "All of them?"
Londo: "Sounds right. And now I have to go back to the Council and explain to them that in the interest of peace the Centauri government will agree to give quadrant 37 to the Narns. I think I will stick my head in the station's fusion reactor. It would be quicker. And I suspect, after a while I might even come to enjoy it. But this -- this, this, this is like being nibbled to death by .. what are those Earth creatures called? Feathers, long bill, webbed feet .. go 'quack' .."
Vir: "Cats."
Londo: "Cats. I'm being nibbled to death by cats."

Great, but then again if you're into sci-fi you'll already know what I mean.

Laughable ejections from government

This could become a series on this blog, if I could be bothered to track them all, but here is a laughable press release from government, this one made by the Home Office (079/98) on 27 February 1998. It came as the government finished its confiscation of private property from tens of thousands of honest British citizens and put an end to popular participation in a sport for which the British are well respected internationally:

The Government fulfilled its pledge to remove all handguns from the streets of Britain today as the final phase of firearms surrender came to a close.
...
Welcoming the end of the hand-in period, Home Office Minister Alun Michael said: "We have now held a successful firearms surrender for large and small calibre handguns, which I believe has put a firm brake on the development of a dangerous gun culture in the UK."

He should be made to eat every last one of those words.

Quote of the day

"The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppresive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all." - H.L. Mencken

What is the currency of France?

Isn't it about time that this was updated?

French Franc - WordNet Dictionary
Definition: [n] the basic unit of money in France

See Also: franc

And this one is also out of date.

Any suggestions for what these online dictionaries should say for the entry instead?

What about the entry in, let's say, 20 years time?

French Franc:
Previous basic unit of money in France before the introduction of the Euro.

Euro:
Basic unit of money in France and Germany. Originally intended as a European wide currency but lost favour after widespread corruption caused the European Union project to collapse.

I'm sure you lot out there can do better than that.