How Channel 4 took an entertainment masterpiece and turned it into slurry

Watching the final back to back episodes of LOST on channel 4 last night was an exercise in frustration. Indeed that has been the way of it for the whole series and I wish I hadn't started.

The problem, frankly, was a simple one and had nothing to do with the series itself but one that lay very much at the doorstep of the channel 4 offices. The adverts. Oh sweet Lord the adverts. So fast and furious they came that even the dog could not hide his frustration.

So, that's it for that particular series on 4. I shall be watching the next series on DVD.

Fake reality TV

This is just plain cruel.

TV

A neighbour said get Sky+, it will transform the way you watch television. We got FreeView instead. A Philips FreeView box to be exact. We stuck with it for two weeks and then returned the box to Sainsbury’s. It kept freezing and would sometimes take 5 minutes to change between two different channels even when the signal strength indicator suggested a strong signal. To date it has been the most frustrating piece of electronic equipment I have ever used.

I once bought a Samsung video recorder that had a faulty design. Some kind of minute spring would fail after the guarantee period was up and the recorder would need repairing. It was a well know problem with that particular recorder. I decided never to buy a Samsung product again. Phillips is now on that list of untrustworthy companies. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t automatically place the companies of all failed products on my list. Just those whose products cause me a level of frustration and anger that I feel justifies the total abolition of the existence of any of their products in the household.

So that’s three. Samsung, Phillips and The Daily Express.

Anyhow, we got Sky+ and it’s extraordinarily impressive. The box is effectively a satellite receiver with an integral hard disc for recording onto but that’s not really what makes it great. It’s the programming. The ease of use. The features just work and work in a way I would expect them to work. The manual is unnecessary.

The channel line up we have is also impressive. Hundreds of them and many of quality. Sky One, Sky Movies 1 & 2, Discovery, History, UK History, Civilisation, kiddie channels, loads of them. There’s always something on.

I now pay about forty quid a month for TV entertainment. It’s a lot of money but we got fed up with the quality of programming on terrestrial TV. We were at the video shop two or three times a month just so that we could spend some relaxing time on the sofa of an evening.

Forty quid. Thirty for the pleasure of always having something to watch whenever we feel like it and a sophisticated piece of machinery that provides us with one touch recording of multiple channels, rewinding and pausing of live TV, linking of a series so it can be recorded in its entirety, a great user experience with an easy to use but sophisticated user interface and a permanent connection between our house and a satellite in Geo-stationary orbit around our planet. Ten quid for various BBC channels that we hardly ever watch and would gladly give up if only the state permitted it.

Arrrrrrr, looks interesting

What game is this? Anyone know?

Perhaps it is this one.

It's great TV - someone tell the critics

Via SciFi Daily comes this interesting article on the way TV critics view the science fiction genre and how they are doing themselves no favours by their lack of understanding. Basically they are showing themselves up as not being very good at their jobs. But hey, you knew that already.

A vice president in the TV industry recently asked me what TV shows I watch for enjoyment. I mentioned my favorite is "Battlestar Galactica" on Sci Fi Channel. She laughed. I asked if she'd seen it. No, she said, and laughed again. Did she know, I asked, that it's a gritty adult drama of family members and colleagues in deep-rooted conflict not unlike that of "The Sopranos"? That they're part of a civilization struggling not only to survive but to define itself amid messy terrorist warfare? That it explores the values of competing societies that demonize each other's spiritual beliefs? That it's full of gutsy acting by the likes of Edward James Olmos and sophisticated allegory mirroring today's global politics?

She laughed again.

The perfect police state

In this world, every conversation you have is automatically recorded. Everything you say or hear is stored in a large database. The name of every person you have ever talked to is noted down as well as how frequently you talk to them. The state has the ability to control how far your voice carries and whether you are able to shout at all. In fact, you are only allowed to communicate with other people using the tools provided by the state. Anything you say can be erased before it reaches another person’s ear. More importantly, anything you say can be instantly altered before it reaches another person’s ear. In fact, you can be coerced to say anything you never said.

The state knows exactly where you are at any given moment. It has the ability to teleport you and imprison you instantaneously and without warning. The state can change your name if it doesn’t like it and provides no way for others to connect your old and new name. More importantly, the state can alter your height, your gender, your age and any other aspect of your physical appearance with a few keystrokes. It can make everyone equal in every aspect of physical appearance and ability.

From The Daedalus Project, the psychology of mmorpgs (massively multiplayer online roll playing games).

World of Warcraft

So I've been looking for a new MMORP game to get stuck into and it looks like World of Warcraft might be the one. A rather large departure from my usual area of space sims but most of the clan I play with have moved to the fantasy platform that is WoW and it's probably high time I joined them.

The game seems to be rather hard to get hold of with PC World no longer taking on-line orders and the in store shelves being empty. Even Amazon are now quoting it as a special order with a 2 to 3 month waiting list.

Further, it seems that my graphics card is not really up to the job so a further investment will need to be made.

There's always a price to pay when trying to keep up with PC gaming.

I was looking forward to it

There was supposed to be a TV programme on last night about a bunch of people hunting around in a glacier or some such for some World War II bombers.

It was cancelled because of an overrun in a previous programme on which Tony Blair sat down and chatted with a bunch of people about this and that.

It was clear to me that neither the participating audience nor the Prime Minister had any interest whatsoever in World War II bombers and their possible recovery from the grip of an icy tomb.

It's a disgrace.

Me is livin on da streets

Ali G has been kicked out of the house.

Who won the Battle of Britain?

Apparently a single US pilot did. His codename? Tom Cruise.

God bless you Tom.

Dog's tongues, Otter’s noses, Occelot spleens

This, I think, is fantastic news:

Monty Python's film The Life of Brian is to return to US cinemas next month following the success of The Passion of the Christ.

The Biblical satire will be re-released in Los Angeles, New York and other US cities to mark its 25th anniversary.

Adverts will challenge Mel Gibson's blockbuster with the lines "Mel or Monty?", "The Passion or the Python?"

In other news the Judean People's Front and the People's Front of Judea are to merge. Reg, a spokesman for the People’s Front of Judea was quoted as saying:

Fuck off! The only people we hate more than the Romans are the Judean People's Front.

I will be providing squadron escort this evening

Tonight I will be piloting a fighter as part of squadron mission. We will be escorting a number of transport craft which will be carrying important parts needed to manufacture specialist communication equipment. We expect the enemy to intercept us along the way.

During the mission I will be in direct visual and audio contact with my squadron and will have at my disposal the best in terms of graphical Head Up Displays, target tracking radar and automated missile lock alarm systems.

My weaponry will consist of three ion based chain firing cannon and three rather expensive auto-tracking missiles.

We are prepared for trouble.

These are the joys of online gaming.

A victory against Disneyfication

Pixar and Disney are to go their separate ways. Good, they have little in common. One makes good films, the other one used to.

It was the Dawn of the Third Age of Mankind

I'm a big Babylon 5 fan. Yes, yes, I know, another Sci-Fi freak but let me tell you that there are more of us than you think so I would keep those thoughts to yourself my friend before I have you disintegrated.

Anyhow, I know it's subjective but B5 was one of those series that had such a great combination of things going for it that it could not fail to impress me. Good effects, great acting (the Londo character was truly astonishing and a marvel to watch), brilliant writing and a constant theme running through it (the coming of the shadows, a race of nasty super spidery things).

The thing that impressed me the most about the writing and acting was the dialog and the way it was delivered; this bit from the Chrysalis episode for instance had me in fits:

Londo: "Now out of that 50, how many gods do you think I must have offended to have ended up with G'Kar's teeth buried so deeply in my throat that I can barely breathe?"
Vir: "All of them?"
Londo: "Sounds right. And now I have to go back to the Council and explain to them that in the interest of peace the Centauri government will agree to give quadrant 37 to the Narns. I think I will stick my head in the station's fusion reactor. It would be quicker. And I suspect, after a while I might even come to enjoy it. But this -- this, this, this is like being nibbled to death by .. what are those Earth creatures called? Feathers, long bill, webbed feet .. go 'quack' .."
Vir: "Cats."
Londo: "Cats. I'm being nibbled to death by cats."

Great, but then again if you're into sci-fi you'll already know what I mean.